Breastfeeding

No one told me breast feeding would be the hardest thing about having kids. It is hard to do, it is exhausting, it hurts, it is difficult to decide to stop. I did it for 8 weeks. I give credit to any woman who does it longer. After having blocked ducts twice in one week and mastitis, I decided I was done. It was painful. It also killed the supply I had worked so hard and lost sleep over building. I was also so stressed about my milk supply and lack there of, I became obsessed with pumping. Constanly trying to pump around the clock to increase my supply. All this resulted in was less sleep and a very crabby mother. My supply never increased. I barely fed the babies three bottles a day of breast milk. I got off to a bad start being sick in the hospital. Week three my house caught on fire. I just did not have a fair chance. Even if I had a fair chance, I am not sure I would last, it is just so hard. Harder than passing the CPA exam. Harder than giving birth. Harder than being pregnant. Ok, maybe I am overreacting. If you have never done it, you will never understand. This coming from a woman who has been a tear factory the last few days. I never used to be a cry baby. Damn breast feeding. Honestly, I do not think I would do it again and do not blame any woman for skipping the experience. The decision to stop was almost as hard as breastfeeding itself. You feel so selfish and guilty. This to shall pass. If only you could see me now... I am typing this on a rental couch with a smile with frozen corn stuffed in my bra (in the bag of course) to dry up the supply I worked so hard to build. I plan to have a beer later tonight.