Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Man vs. Mom

I was inspired by reading another blog. I have to happily say, my husband did not fall into many! I added some of my own. How does your hubby measure up?

Night time
Mom: Baby cries and mom jumps out of bed. After getting the baby back to sleep, mom lays in bed wondering if the baby is still breathing.
Man: Waits a good 15 minutes before he even moves, hoping his wife will get up. After 15 minutes pass, man moves or grunts loudly hoping to wake his wife. Next morning, man claims he did not hear anything.

Outings
Mom: Realizes there is going to be a baby melt down within a half an hour, so they better head home.
Man: Has no clue when the next feeding is, or that a melt down will occur, accepts another beer.

Diaper Bag
Mom: Packs everything she can imagine you could possibly need.
Man: Is shocked when he opens the bag and sees you remembered water to make a bottle.

Around the house
Mom: Gets chores, showers, etc. done at the beginning of nap time, realizing she does not know how much time she has to work with.
Man: Waits until his show is over before he gets moving. This usually falls at the end of nap time.

Bathroom Break
Mom: Pees as quickly as she can to tend to her crying baby.
Man: Plops down on the pot with a magazine.

Dirty Diaper
Mom: Can smell it a mile away. Waits until baby is done going then changes immediately.
Man: Pretends not to smell the horrible stank! Hopes that mom will come by soon to change baby.

Fussy Baby
Mom: Distraught that she cannot calm the baby, tries endlessly to help baby. Every minute feels like eternity.
Man: Sometimes ignores fussy baby. May try to calm fussy baby for 5 minutes, then puts baby down saying they can cry it out.

Bath Time on mom's night out
Mom: Hopes her hubby will bathe the baby since they have a bad case of sour milk neck.
Man: Bath night can wait until tomorrow, the baby does not smell that bad.

Feel free to add on to my list ladies!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mustache:
Mom: Shave that shit, you look like an ass.
Husband: Big Pimpin, Ron Jeremy style.

Anonymous said...

Mom takes 15 minutes to wake up husband. Husband slams door on way to the baby room.

Unknown said...

This is great! good to know...hahaha! ;)
-Amy Lusk